I'm trying to stay positive

I'm so frustrated right now. I feel like most of my life is conspiring to keep me from reaching my weight loss goals. I try and eat healthy, and I try to work out and stay active, and yet, I'm still not loosing weight. I really don't want to resort to cutting my calories drastically, and I really don't have time to go to the gym more than I do, but I have to do something.

A friend posted pictures taken at my 30th Birthday Party back in May. I had lost weight by then, from my original weigh in of 178. I was down to around 160, which coincidentally is about where I'm stuck now. ( I'm at 157.8 lbs )

It was all I could do just to not burst out crying at those pictures. I look chubby, chunky, out of shape, fat, horrible. I put a picture down at the bottom left side of the page for reference...the best of the bunch.

And I know that's just how I would look if those pictures were taken today instead of back in May.

Two months and no progress. Two months and I still haven't had to go another notch in on my belt, and my clothes still don't fit well.

I'm going to start using a food diary asap. Maybe that will help me determine where my calories are coming from. I'm going to start trying to add in extra workouts somewhere. I just don't know where...between trying to move, my job and my freelance work, I honestly don't know where I can find more time, unless I give up some sleep. And I'm kinda attached to sleep.

Hopefully the food diary will help. Otherwise I'm out of ideas.
-Meg

Overtime week

No, not in a good way. Not in a fitness way.

This week I'm doing an extra shift at work. So I'll be doing a 50 hour work week this week. Because I'm not willing to give up any of my other after school activities (drawing group on Mondays, relaxing and stuff on weekends) that means that my workout time is seriously crunched. I did not go to the gym today. I did not do my pushups today.

I will go tomorrow and start week 5 of the Challenge tomorrow..

Again, I'm seeing my numbers decreasing, inexplicably (seeing how little exercise I've been getting and how horribly I've been eating) and yet I'm still feeling increasingly bloated. I wonder if I'm filling up with air...

More tomorrow.
-Meg

Ugh.

The numbers on the scale are depressing. 159 lbs 32.7% bf. I don't understand it. It's like running as fast as you can and then realizing you haven't gotten anywhere.

I know plateaus happen, but it's really frustrating that I havn't been able to loose any weight in over a month. I loose a little, and then I gain it back. And it's not muscle weight cause that Body Fat % number isn't budging either.

The only thing I can think is that I have to go back on a more restrictive diet. I don't eat *horribly* right now, but I don't eat super well either. Like today, I was really bad. I had grilled cheese and French fries, a huge buttermilk biscuit and I'm halfway through a bowl of tomato basil soup from whole foods. I suppose if I don't eat anything else tonight I'll be ok.

*sigh* Yeah, that's the only option at this point...I hate dieting, it makes me cranky and irritable and I end up craving food all the time. But with my weight loss stalled, I have to face the possibility that I'm going to have to go back on a diet for the long term.